Turn into ashes

Hope fades, and there is nothing to fight for,

Now only ashes left.

At present, I am doomed to stay, to face all the shit and reality.

It's just like that disastrous Working Holiday in USA all over again, isn't it?

Not as terrible as that, but it still sucks.

I didn't cry my eyes out or feel terribly disappointed, it's just a dull pain in the heart, accompanied by a dread feeling that everything I did would turn out in vain. Then numb, which maybe the worst part in a sence.

A mere 4 hours age, I felt so bad that I could not bring myself to do anything.

After intoxicated myself by swimming, now is better.

I need to find a way.