Swimming Star

Could be a good title for something ;)

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When all the flowers are gone

People change, including your friends.

I just...haven't gotten used to this idea. For I miss them and those shared "good old time".

Kay and Julianna looked the same, but they appeared weary and kind of "conspiratorial", like they knew lots of secret schemes, and I was not on the same page with them.

Maybe because now they are working and I am still staying at school, but the feeling they gave me in our talk....was not amicable, a little bit cynical.

The feeling they used to give me changed, into something not familiar to my memories.

They are moving forward while I'm glued to the same spot.

Changed, but not the core, I think.

Nevertheless, I desire company and comradeship. I keep asking myself what exactly that I want most now.

I want free and love, I guess.

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Love! Science Blue

Today I bought a speedo swimming suit....
And it is science bule!


*LOVE*

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Hard to read

Damn, not only Spock is an enigma, but HE is harder to read.

Perhaps it is because I tend to shun (a lot)while he likes to play games (which means being manipulative).

Therefore in the end, even after 1 year, we seem to completely fail to understand one another.

And I'm already getting tired of that place and people and everything. Is it some kinds of crazy curse cycle? Why am I always pushing friends away when they started to know more about me?

Especially when there were male "good friends" involved. Crist, I really hate these god damn complexes.

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Turn into ashes

Hope fades, and there is nothing to fight for,

Now only ashes left.

At present, I am doomed to stay, to face all the shit and reality.

It's just like that disastrous Working Holiday in USA all over again, isn't it?

Not as terrible as that, but it still sucks.

I didn't cry my eyes out or feel terribly disappointed, it's just a dull pain in the heart, accompanied by a dread feeling that everything I did would turn out in vain. Then numb, which maybe the worst part in a sence.

A mere 4 hours age, I felt so bad that I could not bring myself to do anything.

After intoxicated myself by swimming, now is better.

I need to find a way.

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The Snow Queen X Star Trek? Amazing!

http://barrowjane.livejournal.com/

The fic is here, really amazing, it makes me want to read the Snow Queen!

Also I love crazy creepy story :P

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Tipsy! Spock

This title has absolutely nothing to do with its content.

Oh! But Tipsy! Spock is reeeeeeally adorable (and popular fandom kink, I saw 5 fic about this yesterday).

...Alright, maybe a little. However it is a pure boring personal afterthought concerning general positive attitude toward drinking alcohol. Just like our Mr. Spock would logically point out, " consuming intoxicated substance which no doubt detrimental to one's health, still human taking pleasure in it...most illogical".

Well, I agree. For me wine or beer is just a kind of unpleasant flavor beverage, it tastes sour or bitter and got load of calories which make you fat. And it is so expensive that I'd rather buy pearl milk tea which is cheaper and taste better. There are lots of different and delicious non-alcohol drinks in Taiwan, and I see no reason why I have to choose alcohol. Moreover, I don't need it to make me "high" or look mature.

But I understand why people enjoy alcohol, and I accept drink when some occasions require it.

What bother me is that I feel uncomfortable and unacceptable to indulge myself to be tipsy, even around close friends. Insecurity, I assumed is my problem, which make me prefer being sober while enjoying others' silly words and funny behaviors. Though sometimes I cannot enjoy the drunken show for others would start to talk me into drinking once they found out I stay awake. That's the moment that I would feel most uncomfortable, being surrounded by drunken people who want to turn me into one of them. Sounds like a zombie movie.

Such incident took place once in Italy; the other time was a couple of days ago. I just cannot bring myself to try it, I hate losing myself, especially in front of people.

In fact, I got nothing to worry about... for I always fall asleep before I lose myself.

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God damn cold!

I got a cold, again.
Damn the timing, just when I need to study really hard.
IELTS is driving me crazy, I even had a nightmare about it.
And I still got 39 days before the "dream come true".

This is gonna be fun.

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